Giving My Control to God

The topic for today was on lessons that God has taught us. I decided to talk about how He's taught me that it's not in my hands, but His. Over the last few weeks I've been approaching how control has changed my life. I've always been in control of things, or tried to remain that way. When my mother was taken from me, I controlled my emotions to those who I grew attached to. Others died, and I learned to control sadness, grief, and anger.

But anger always got the best of me. I couldn't control it.

But instead of letting it lash out like others in my family, mainly my father, I buried it. It took quite a toll on me for many years, and it was only when I gave it up that I found any sense of real control, real peace. I let myself feel anger, I let myself feed sadness and grief. I let it all in, and I let it all out just the same.

Emotions are now easier to control, but physical things are more difficult to let go sometimes. I've been re-reading Laura Doyle's The Surrendered Wife, and I realise how far I've come, but also how I've got a ways to go. Control is something I have a hard time giving up. I trust very little. My friend Daquiri talked about trust earlier in the week when it came to the life of her friend and unborn child. Is it because we fear that we cannot trust all things to be in Heavenly Father's hands? Is it lacking faith? Or is it that we just don't want to hurt?

The little things I control seem stupid sometimes. How much money is spent, what we're going to eat tonight, if my husband forgot to bring his badge to work, or if the gas tank might be low. These little things add up though. Ever read that book, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff"? I have to wonder, does God count the little stuff? I believe He does. I believe that if it's His will, I can find my keys when I lose them, I can get a perfectly timed check in the mail, just in time to pay bills, and I can write just what I need to, just in time for a deadline.

I can give Him all of my problems, no matter how big or small. I can work on them and myself, and He can take the stress away if I put my trust in Him. One of my favourite songs by Cherie Call illustrates this beautifully:


Names

He's been known throughout time by so many names
Creator of worlds and the ruler of all
And I do not disagree with the ones I have heard
Like The First and The Last, and Wonderful
Eternal and Endless, Provider and King,
And His Majesty
But when I think of the hundreds of prayers that I've prayed
There are so many more that I'd add to these, like

Mathematician, Concert Musician, Master Physician
and Listening Friend
Who knows all about cars, and my fragile heart
So the best name would still have to be
Heavenly Father

When I'm helping a friend He has sharpened my mind
When I've asked that my lips could say all the right things
He can part the Red Sea and still keep me from shaking
When I've prayed that my hands could hit all the right strings
He has always been there to handle the big things
But He can still find a way
To help me with tricky equations and dark twisty highways
And children with fevers
I know I can pray to the

Mathematician, Concert Musician, Master Physician
and Listening Friend
Who knows all about cars, and my fragile heart
So the best name would still have to be
Heavenly Father

And isn't it just what a father would do
Helping His children with all that He knew
And then using His wisdom to step back sometimes
On some of the answers we're just meant to find for ourselves

So we can be mathematicians, concert musicians,
Mothers, physicians, and listening friends
And we can learn about cars, and we can heal broken hearts
With the love that we've learned first hand
From a Heavenly Father

For more Seek the Lord Sunday