Ultimately Happy and Fascinating (Study Group)

Originally posted January 2009.

To say that the first year of my marriage was a bit rocky would be the understatement of the century.

Take one hot tempered Irish red head, mix in feministic upbringing, add a dash of divorce rate in the family, beat together two months of hormone overloading birth control pills and ten hour shifts of work . . .  pour over one unsuspecting husband and bake until crazy.

If I didn't have the complete faith I have in our love, I'd be shocked that we survived the first year too! Truth was, though I wanted to be the submissive, sweet, doting housewife, I didn't know how to be . . . and the path that took me to this point was rocky, and hard, and I fought it for quite a bit. It's been a progress.

Advice from other married women, Church leaders, and especially prayer helped quite a bit . . . and then of course there were books.

My addiction to self help books is quite astounding. I can't read fiction at all. I need to constantly improve myself, if not for me than for the benefit of my husband and future children. So I got every book on marriage I could find. Most I turned away. They didn't make sense to me. They were suggesting what I was already doing, and it just wasn't working. Some talked about how being a housewife was something of the past, and that submission to a man turns you into a doormat. Not to mention, not a one of them taught me how to clean worth anything!

A few lessons from one of my aunts, and The Ultimate Career given to me by my mother in law helped when it came down to cleaning, organizing and learning the things that I was never taught as a little girl. The book was helpful, specific, and most importantly, it was written by and for an LDS woman, just like me. This book helped my home.

It would be a few years before I found my next step. Though I could clean, I didn't so much enjoy it. I was constantly hiding away from questions asking me what I did for work. "Oh this and that." I'd say. Or I'd throw in the famous, "I'm a Domestic Executive." Because the word "housewife" seemed shameful. I was making myself and my husband miserable in my denial and confusion when it came to my place in life. That was when I found Happy Housewives.

Saying that this book changed my life would be under appreciating the value it brought into my world. It wasn't only eye opening and helpful, but it was written as though the author was speaking directly to me. I read the book in a total of just a few days, and I was suddenly uplifted in my position as a housewife. The Happy Housewives Club (the books website) opened a new world for me. I found women on the forums just like me (but so different in many ways) many of whom have become my dearest and closest friends for life. Not only did I find there daily support from others who had read the book, but the author, Darla Shine spoke to me persoanlly, and has become a dear friend. This one book changed me forever. This book helped ME, so I could help others.

But there was one thing lacking still. My marriage. Ultimate Career and Happy Housewives improved it so much that it's hard to recall that first year (without crying). It was a good marriage, but I wanted something deeper. Try as I might, I couldn't control everything, nor could I force my husband to be the man I knew he could be. I had gone so many years being one way, that it was obvious where I had gone wrong. I had heard about Fascinating Womanhood, but it wasn't until my friend Liss spoke about it that I went in search of answers. It was everything I wanted. A strong, masculine husband . . . I could be the sweet and feminine housewife. We could be firm in our gender roles assigned by God, and simple steps in this book helped (so quickly) to fix the problems I had once created.

As of right now, I'm still working, but aren't we all? I have become a Happy Housewife, a Fascinating Woman, who has the Ultimate Career!

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Speaking of still working, for those who are interested, I am currently running a study group for Fascinating Womanhood. To keep the privacy of the members, it is a private blog right now. So if you're interested in joining, send an email over to untypicallyjia@gmail.com to let me know that you're interested.


Daily Gratitudes:

1. The FW Study Group (local girls) will meet here tomorrow! I'm excited! I know the girls showing up are two of my best friends anyways, but a part of me feels like I'm throwing some cute little afternoon tea or something. Maybe I should make cucumber sandwhiches or something LOL!
2. Matt's finally feeling a bit better and has promised to call the doctor Monday if his throat is still sore.
3. After my girls day tomorrow, the boys are having a night of videogames and movies again. I love boys night. It's nice to see that they get a chance to have fun too.
4. I'm grateful for pepsi. Oh pepsi....
5. Matt called the front office to figure out how to work the swamp cooler! (Yep, it's finally decided, we have a swamp cooler) and the house has actually been nice and cool the last few days!

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